Crazy Meets Crazy: Waltzazar

[littletreetopper]

Fandoms: Grimm, Supernatural
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: General
Words: 926
Summary: There's never just one war. And nothing is ever as simple as it should be.
Warnings: None.
Notes: SEBAAAAAAASTIAN.
ao3 | ff |lj

 

“You just let them go! Are you crazy? They tried to kill me!”

 

“Calm down,” Nick said into the phone. “It…it’s a bit more complicated than you think.”

 

“It better be, for you to just let them off the hook—“

 

Nick had his car door open, ready to step inside, when he saw the Winchesters’ car swerve violently as it drove away before the breaks were slammed on.

 

“Hey, Monroe, I’m gonna have to call you back.” He shoved his phone back into his pocket and jogged towards the old baby blue Chevy. And maybe he was crazy, because he was pretty sure that two men had gotten into that car and drive away—not three.

 

As he grew nearer, he could hear yelling coming from inside the car. Sam stuck his head out the window and shouted for Nick to stay out of this, which Nick directly ignored and ran the rest of the way to the car.

 

The driver’s side door swung open and Dean stomped out, shouting obscenities all the way. “…zar, I swear to God, you stupid son of a bitch, where the hell were you—“

 

“Dean, please, calm down.”

 

Nick spun around at the sound of the voice coming from behind him and immediately grabbed his gun. “He’s a Hundjäger!”

 

“A what?” Dean snapped.

 

“He’s supposed to be dead.”

 

“Nicky, Nicky, Nicky.” His German accent was gone, replaced by a British one. And his hair was completely different and he wore a V-neck. What the hell? “Let me explain. Boys,” he addressed the Winchesters. His features morphed into the ugly dog face and back to their human appearance. “That’s what your lovely new friend thinks I am.” He held up his hand, revealing the tattoo on his palm. “Is this what you’re concerned about? Because I can easily get rid of it.” He wiped his hands on his pants and held it up again—there was no mark to be seen.

 

“How…”

 

“Balthazar!” Dean snarled. “Explanation.”

 

Sam splashed the contents of a flask on Waltz’s face.

 

He pressed his lips together and blinked a few times. “Really, Sam? Holy water?”

 

“Sorry. Had to check.”

 

He gave an exasperated sigh and waved his hand upwards, toward the sky, and held it there for a moment. The clouds darkened and the wind picked up. What was going on?

 

“Satisfied?” he asked. He dropped his hand and the weather went back to normal.

 

“Yeah, okay,” Sam said.

 

“You guys know him?” Nick asked, frustration at his cluelessness giving a sharper than intended edge to his tone.

 

“Yeah, he’s a friggin’ angel,” Dean said.

 

Nick couldn’t keep his jaw from dropping. “What?”

 

Dean glared at Waltz. “What’d you do?”

 

“I told you—after I died, I just...came back. Like Cassy did all those times—“

 

“You’re not Cas.”

 

Waltz rolled his eyes. “Obviously. Wait—you don’t know?”

 

Dean’s eyes narrowed. “I don’t know what?”

 

“What the hell is going on?” Nick exploded.

 

“I’m not a Hundjäger, Nicky. Never was. That was an act. Had to find out some information.”

 

“You killed people!”

 

Before Waltz could get a word out, Sam and Dean said, “You did what?” in unison.

 

Waltz rolled his eyes to look at them. “Oh, don’t look at me like that. You’ve both killed people, too. In fact, I distinctly recall your faces on national TV. You went on a slaughtering spree not too long ago—“

 

“Okay, shut your mouth, smart ass,” Dean warned.

 

“If you shot me would you feel better?” Waltz asked Nick.

 

“You were dead.”

 

“Yes, well, I got bored of being dead. It was a bit dull.”

 

“Hold on,” Sam said. “You saw him die?”

 

“Yeah, just a couple days ago.”

 

Sam ran his hands through his hair.

 

“My head’s gonna hurt after this one,” Dean stated.

 

“Let’s go for coffee,” Waltz suggested with a smile that Nick certainly did not trust. “Tell you what, Nicky. If you put your gun down, you can come, too.”

 

Dean rubbed his eyes. “Just do it, Nick. If he tries anything we can send his ass to the middle of the Pacific.”

 

Waltz’s eyes narrowed. “I don’t think you want to try that.”

 

Dean threw his arms out. “What do I have to lose? Let’s go.”

 

“Gather round,” Waltz said. “It’s time for a group hug.”

 

One awkward and uncomfortable group hug later, they were standing in the middle of an unfamiliar sidewalk outside a coffee shop.

 

Nick jumped back away from the other three, nearly falling onto the concrete.

 

“What just happened?!”

 

“An angel just gave you a free ride. Not as awesome as one would think,” Dean remarked.

 

After an hour, some head hurting, and several explanations, everyone was finally on the same page. And the coffee was left to get cold.

 

“So…you’re an angel,” Nick said, voice low in the back corner of the café.

 

Balthazar smiled. “Yes, that’s right. Wings and everything. But you can’t see them.”

 

“You’re wearing a V-neck.” And Nick knew how stupid that sounded, but who wore V-necks? And what kind of angel…damn, his head was about to explode.

 

“Our world just got a whole lot bigger,” Sam said. “And that much more complex.”

 

Balthazar grinned. “You’re welcome, Sam. No amount of research could have ever led you to all this.”

 

Dean had been sitting quietly for quite some time—since one specific statement made by Balthazar, actually. Nick wasn’t sure he’d even kept listening after that. But now he said, “If Cas is really alive, we’ve got to find him.”