A Darkening Road

[littletreetopper]

Fandom: Merlin
Rating: PG
Pairings: General
Words: 670
Summary: Morgana still has a heart.
Warnings: None.
Notes: Drabbling while listening to Mumford.
ao3 | lj

 

Morgana gazed out the window, satisfied with the sight. A cluster of two dozen citizens stood surrounded by Helios' men were waiting for their turn at the stake. They had run for the woods--or they'd tried to--and for their crime they would be punished. Didn't they realize she only asked for their loyalty? She could be a good ruler. Strict, yes, but still fair. After all, she was the sister of the well-loved Arthur Pendragon, but so too was she Uther's daughter. Her magic made her a pariah until Morgause came to her much needed rescue, and then her once friends stole her half-sister's life. Morgana had never meant to become evil--that was just how all these one-sided people saw her. If they'd only open their eyes, they'd see she was only taking what was rightfully hers, what she deserved.

She felt every degree her heart dropped in temperature and she knew every reason for each drop. Merlin's betrayal had been the last straw. That was when she knew she had no true friends remaining, other than Morgause and ignorant Gwen. But even Gwen turned against her eventually, though Morgana would have killed her anyway because how was she to become queen if Gwen was meant to sit on the throne?

Everything was black and white to them, there was no gray in their vision. They simply didn't understand. And how could they?

One of the runners screamed as the flames began licking at their legs. She smiled, but it felt empty. She wished she could feel happiness again. She wished she could feel something that felt remotely like love once more.

Her mind went back to the time Merlin had given her flowers when she'd returned to Camelot after being "missing" for a year. For an infinitely small moment in time, she'd thought, He's truly sorry he killed me. Perhaps... But that had been it. She was out for revenge. She couldn't turn back, she'd already gone too far.

A child wailed for her mother and Morgana realized she was the woman in the flames. The poor girl. She couldn't help it if her mother had been fool enough to run.

Morgana headed for the stairs and on the landing saw there were two dead knights still lying on the cold stone floor. Did Helios not have enough taste to even get rid of the bodies his men had killed? She'd have to chastise him later.

In the courtyard, she ordered one of the knights to bring the child to her. The girl had big blue eyes that reminded her all too much of Mordred's.

"What's your name?" she asked the girl, kneeling to be more at her level.

The child made an attempt to stifle her cries and stared at Morgana in obvious fear. "Lily. Please, save my mamma-she's sorry, she'll be good."

"It's too late for your mother, dear. Come with me. I'll see that you have a meal and a place to sleep until we find you another home."

"Leave her be, witch!"

Morgana raised her icy eyes to the man who'd shouted the words and saw an uncanny resemblance between him and the girl.

"Make sure he has a nice warm bed. He shouldn't miss his wife long," she ordered before lifting the girl and taking her to the Great Hall.

Lily buried her face against Morgana's neck and she silently took comfort in the child's warm skin against her own.

Later that night, Lily was fast asleep in Morgana's bed. "You're not so mean as they said," she'd told Morgana while she'd braided the little girl's brown head of hair.

The unfamiliar feeling of guilt pricked at the edges of Morgana's heart. It would seem life would no longer let her feel anything good without the bad.

She held a hand over the head of the child and the rise and fall of her small chest stopped.

So be it.